Touch starvation and the coronavirus

Update: I wrote this on 3/9/2020, in the back of my mind deeply troubled about a few things. These things still trouble me.

One is racism and subsequent scapegoating and avoidance of Chinese people (and people of color of many ethnicities who may be misperceived as Chinese). Another is the cultural memory of the AIDS crisis and people dying with few willing to even hold their hands to comfort them, and the continuance of stigmas against HIV+ people even today. It’s different. I know it’s different. But I don’t like people being treated as walking contaminants, and marginalized communities are most targeted for this.

That said, today (3/17/2020), I feel it’s important to mention I don’t really know what to think now about COVID-19, which has now become an official pandemic. The idea that deliberate “social distancing” will “flatten the curve,” reduce the strain on overwhelmed healthcare systems, and therefore save lives seems reasonable, even though this explanatory model assumes a 100% contagion rate which isn’t true to life. Slowing the exponential spread nonetheless makes sense to me. My state currently recommends canceling gatherings of 50+ people.

Ultimately, I didn’t have enough information when I wrote this post, and I still don’t. Were my words and actions excessively risky for a larger collective of people? Were my words and actions compassionate and reasonable? I just don’t know. Things are changing every day. Take everything I write with a grain of salt.

Update (4/13/2020): And here we are. Things are different now. I’m leaving this post up for history and accountability, but protecting the lives of the most vulnerable people clearly needs to be a priority right now.

Some people don’t like to be touched for any number of reasons, and that’s fine. A lot of people are wary about touching other people right now because of COVID-19, and that’s fine too.

I’m not going to touch someone who doesn’t want to be touched, and some days I don’t feel huggy either. But I want to talk about fear-based messages, the biological human need for touch, and my own intentional choice to continue affectionate, non-sexual touch with consenting people.

Yesterday, I encountered a lonely, isolated, older woman.